Thoughts going through my head. Trying to get them out. Too many things happening. Burning connections with people around me. Confusion and insecurity wherever I look. Only place I feel safe is at work. There I can think, and do pretty things. Sometimes they ask me to do boring things, and I do them anyway.
Got drunk last night. For the first time in my life. Started feeling the effect after 6 shots of vodka. Stopped at 8 or 9. Started happy, then horny, then sad, then I went for a walk, they I got suicidal, and then I went home to sleep. Called a bunch of people and said a bunch of things. Some funny. Some scary. Called the Ex. Cried. I can't decide if I love or hate her. She was kind, and mean at the same time.
Last night I disconnected from facebook. No more virtual friends for me. If you want me, you'll get in touch. I can't handle being the caring person I was up until now. I have no strength left after investing myself in other people. I need to start thinking about myself. I don't know what to say to anybody. I barely recognise anybody anymore. I don't know who my friends are.
Good night.
Love.
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